What would you do if you ever felt like you weren't part of a group, that you had no friends, that you felt like nobody liked you? 

How would you feel? 

Moreover, how do you think a child feels when she feels like she has no friends, that she isall alone, that nobody likes her?

Our 4 year old K had been finding it difficult to connect and be friends with her classmates, feeling alone and sad but not sure how to solve it by herself; neither did she have clarity on why and what she was feeling. 

The time came then for our 4 year olds to get a new set of library books to take and read at home. Out of those books, was one tiny treasure called 'Something  Else' by Kathryn Cave and Chris Riddell. The book is about a little creature the other animals call 'Something Else' because it doesn't look like the others. The storyline moves through the emotions faced by the creature when it felt alone, sad, lonely because of how others treated it and called it 'Something Else'. The book however ends on a happy note where another creature that looks like none other comes into the picture and they become the best of friends. 


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Call it luck, call it a connection, K found it and took it home for the week. Days pass by, the book made its rounds with the others without any of us realizing how deep a connection K had made with the creature in the book called 'Something Else', until it was brought to our attention by her mother. K had been feeling like she was Something Else in the class as she felt alone, lonely and sad. Reading that book gave her the vocabulary and understanding of her emotions and feelings that she connected to, resulting in her opening up about it to her parents. 

When it was brought to the attention of the school, we decided to dive right in, as we always do. With her in particular, we have been working on communication skills, and as a class, social skills and making friends with new children were on the focus. Because of the initial layer of work that was already done, when K's emotions were brought in the picture, children found it easier to empathize and suggest solutions.

We read the book today, it being a Thursday where we usually read a book for our Library Routine. We chose 'Something Else' to read and everybody was excited and jumping on their mats, except for K. She looked quiet and withdrawn throughout. However, we proceeded. Children kept empathizing with the character and vocalizing about the scenes in the book. Post the reading session, the floor was open for questions and further discussions. 

"Have you ever felt like how 'Something Else' was feeling? " 

Nobody answered as such. 

The question then was repeated to K to which she whispered a yes. She then came and stood with us in the front for the issue to be discussed further. We held her throughout to let her know that she was safe in our circle. 

"Because I am alone like Something Else. Nobody is not playing with me." meaning to say that nobody played with her.

The whole class of the 4-year olds sat quiet and looked concerned as she spoke as they now knew exactly how she felt. 

"We will be friends with you. " 
"We will play with you." 
"I will write a letter for you at my home. I will bring it for you. You can take it home."
"I will play with you K"...

And on and on went children, soothing her heart. 

There was no need of further conversations and this culminated in a a gentle group hug where they just held her. And T planted her a kiss in the end. ​

Developing a vocabulary to express how they are feeling is a good first step to seeking help when someone is feeling left out, lonely or upset. Children, when not felt supported and loved, can develop all kinds of insecurities right from childhood that could take a long time to move out of. As important as it is to make them feel loved, supported and belonged, it's also important equip them to love, support and be there for one another. 


Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.

It was time for all the preschoolers to go home. But Pari was just not in the mood to go get her bag. She had tears in her eyes instead. 

Pari: I am upset. 
"What happened Pari?"
Pari: Kar is not my best friend anymore. 

And she starts crying. 
Kar walks by, we call him and he comes in with his bag and hat, all set to go home. 

"Pari called me Bad Kar!"

Pari looks at him, keeps crying, expecting him to apologize. But he doesn't. 

Unfortunately, the situation was not resolved. 

"Pari and Kar, can you please talk to each other?"

Pari:" I am upset."
Kar:" I was also upset when you said that."

That was the end of their discussion. Upon hearing that the words she chose to say to Kar had made him upset too, she quit. She turned around and walked away. It was also time for her to leave as the van was waiting to leave for the drop. Kar looked lost and unresolved. We talked about resolving it on Monday when we meet again and parted for the day. 

Monday arrived and they came back together to talk about it. 

Kar:" She called me a bad boy."
Pari, with her hands folded and face angry:" He came and closed it!"
Kar: "I was making door"

"Door for what?"
Kar:" Car. They were making a car!"

"Oh! Pari , he was helping you make a door for your car!"

Pari's face broke out into a smile, "Oh..."

The whole mood of the situation elevated into pleasant smiles. 

"Kar, but if you want the play with somebody, don't you think you should ask them and then do the necessary things?"

Kar nodded a yes. 

"Pari, next time you don't like something, you can always tell them what it is that you don't like about what they are doing, instead of calling them a bad boy or girl."

Pari, still smiling also nods a yes. And they walked back to class in harmony. Pari pulled Kar's cheek to show affection and happily went back to play. 

The situation stayed with them for more than 2 whole days, unresolved. It was necessary to get them together and resolve their issue. Even if as adults we perceive these issues as 'little', it could be a great deal of distress for them, and is necessary that these loops get closed. It sure is beautiful how a lot of emotions got processed and conveyed throughout this little episode, from anger, hurt, compassion and kindness, calmness, etc. Children are capable of so much more than we realize and it is important to keep an open mind when we are with them. It all makes it worth the while in the end.


Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.

The facilitator at SM preschool noticed that the class of 12 four to five year olds were establishing comfort zones and forming smaller groups within the class. They played with the same group of children and struggled with making new friends. To address this issue, on one of the morning hours, the facilitator set up an invitation to play with lego blocks and animal toys.
 
Children were given the choice to create something together as one team and were given 15 minutes. Even though children began to create something together, towards the end of 15 minutes there were two smaller groups and few children playing individually on their own.
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At the end of 15 minutes, children were asked to stop, leave whatever they were doing as it is and move to the side. Each of them were asked what their team was doing but they could only recollect and say what they were doing individually.

The facilitator reminded them of the initial goal of the activity and posed a question at the children, "What do you all think we can do now?"
"Maybe we can join everything together", T suggested and everybody agreed.

The children were given another 15 minutes to complete their task. At the end of that 15 minutes and a lot of mini conflicts, they had together built a gigantic animal carrier.

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When asked what they liked and disliked about working together as a team, the few things that emerged were:

Sh: We made so many different things and we attached it, I didn’t like it when J destroyed it.
T: I learn’t to do a big building with so many blocks with the team, I didn’t like when Ar destroyed what I made.
Ad: I liked to put the animals together with the team, I didn’t like J destroying it.
Ar: My team helped me make the big building, I didn’t like that there are a lot of items that are not used. I felt very bad when my team was not listening, only V was listening.
An: I learn’t how to build animal home with the team. I didn’t like everybody screaming and I was not able to hear others. Everyone was very loud screaming “I want to put it”.
Av: I liked building the animal carrier truck. I didn’t like that everyone was shouting.
Ad: I like about my team when they were doing a great building work.

So it is with anytime children work together, there is bound to be conflict, lack of feeling listened to, screaming and a lot of me-me-me. Even if at the end of it what they produce looks amazing the feeling of how the experience was stays with them and they continue to avoid collaboration.

As children listened to how they all felt at the end of the activity it started to create bridges between one heart to another and slowly mend fences from one child to another. At the heart of good team work and collaboration lies trust and at the heart of that lies empathy and listening with an open, non-judgmental mind is a good start!

Collaboration and team work are two of the most essential life skills. By learning to make new friends and collaborating with them at an early age, children become more tolerant and appreciative of others' ideas and develop a sense of social adeptness which they are going to carry with them through adulthood.

#sparklingmindzglobalschool
#inspiringconfidentlearners
#youngachieversacademy
#everychildcan

​Contributed by Yashika CG, Asst. Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz.

Thursdays at SM are always exciting!
Every Thursday we pick a book and read it with our 4- 5 year olds. Another reason why children look forward to Thursdays is because they get to take home a new book from their library. And this Thursday we chose to read a book called “Not a Box”. To help children connect better with the book, the class was set with empty cardboard boxes of different sizes for them to imagine and play with. 
 
As children came in, some were confused, some amused and some curious. Sh came inquiring about the boxes in the class,
Sh: Ma’am, why are these boxes in our class? Did you put them here?
F: Yes, I put them here. You can do whatever you want with them.
 
After this conversation, it was amusing to see the things children could imagine with mere empty boxes!
 
In the image below, all that can be seen at the first glance is probably just a bunch of children standing inside an empty box. But if looked a little deeper, a whole new world of theirs is what we will see.

For E, they are on a bus traveling to school where V is the conductor of the bus. For Ash, it's an aeroplane ship, an aeroplane that turns into a ship when it falls into the water and for Av, it's a submarine.

J pulled out a long strip used for compartmentalizing from inside one of the boxes, wrapped it around himself and said “Ma’am, this is my seat belt”.
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Ad and An playing ‘Peek a boo’.  And on and on they went with their wonder, excitement and endless bouts of imagination!
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Often as adults, we are so clouded by our understanding of how things work, that we forget to understand what it means to play. It then gets easier to teach children what things do before letting them tinker, experience and learn by themselves first. If we step back and observe with an intention to know them rather than teach them, we will see that everything that comes across as ambiguous about our children will begin to inspire us. They are exploring the new world around them, constantly making connections, learning from everything they see or do and reproduce it in different ways.

​And we can contribute in their journey by learning to explore with them. 


Contributed by Yashika CG, Asst. Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz.

As the day proceeded and the children in 3 year olds class were done with their free play. They pulled a chair each, made a circle and sat around for their circle time. The facilitator noticed that there was a slight issue that there was a yawning space one side and a jostling for space on another. Aa wanted to sit only next to K where both the adjacent seats were occupied. He was almost in tears, wanting to sit only next to only K. Some of the children spoke to him and told him how there's no space there, and to go sit next to Av as there's more space there but Aa refused. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to address the old issue of wanting to be friends only with one person: 

F: Aa, Why don't you go sit next to Av? There's a lot more space there. 
Aa: No ma'am (tears up)! I want to sit next to K.
F: How can we solve this? Because see, there's no space here to sit next to K.
*Aa looks and seems to be thinking*
F: You always sit next to K right? Why don't you try something different and sit next to Av where there is more space? 
*Aa stands and stares at K*
H: Yeah Aa. You should go sit there. We should be friends with everybody! 
F: Yeah! Sounds like a good idea. Aa is already friends  with K. Why don't you try and make new friends? Anyway, it's Aa's choice. I know he is smart and he will make smart choices. Let me know how you'd like to solve this problem.

A moment later, Aa lifted his chair, went and sat next to Av where there was a lot more space and the circle was complete. He was then appreciated for showing openness and agreeing to make new friends, and given a victory clap by everybody in the class! The facilitator and children then had a conversation on why it's important to make new friends:

F: Why do you think we should make new friends?
Some children went on to talk about some of the new friends that they have made outside, in their apartments and in their own class while some pondered.
An: Because if we don't then we will have only one friend. 
F: Yes, good point. So what happens if that one friend of yours doesn't come to school then?
An: We won't have any friends to play with. We will get bored!
H: I am friends with everybody!

Then the children moved on to speak about how they are friends with everybody and how they will try and be more friendly. After getting their agreement, it was put up on the 'Ground Rules' chart that 'We will make friends with everybody in class', that 'We are all friends'. This whole discussion ended with a group hug and the day moved on pretty seamlessly as they all sat around with each other throughout and made conversations with each other.

Ever since when Ad tries to sit next to K, the whole class reminds him to make new friends. There is shared ownership and camaraderie of a different level since the discussion. When we co-arrive at ground rules children seem to actively own the agreement rather than passively following someone else's instructions. It's amazing what a group of 3 year olds can do when they decide to work together and be friends.