We at Sparkling Mindz handle children's issues in different ways. One way is to model their behavior back to them, asking them to reflect, take perspective and empathize on how/what they are doing or how others feel as a result of their behavior.
Another way is through role plays and this time, the facilitators at preschool decided to role play as children. They chose three scenarios to role play:
a) taking every communication with peers as an attack and being rude in response to attack,
b) self victimizing by saying they have no friends, and
c) wanting to look like the others and not satisfied with how they already look (especially the skin color).
Each scenario explains what the facilitators role played and what children reflected after each of the scenes.
Scenario 1
Friend 1 makes fun of friend 2's drawing that leads friend 2 to be upset and get into a mode of rejecting the other's friendship and her opinion by telling herself things that are not productive.
Reflections
An, "The house can be drawn however we want it to be."
Em, "We should not be rude at other's work."
An, "Friend 1 did not care about what the other child said."
An, "Yes, she cared only about herself."
Sh, "She was hurt!"
Aad "Friend 2 was upset and was telling herself that she wants to be on her own."
Anya " Yes, she kept telling bad things to herself like, I don't like other people and they are rude to me!"
At this point the facilitator asked them, "Did friend 2 telling herself bad things help her?"
All, "Nooo!!!"
Facilitator (F), "What could she tell herself instead?"
Various responses such as, "I like mine, but I don't know why she did not like mine...", "I like mine but maybe she likes the way she draws...", "We should like what others do...", etc., came out.
F, "Are we expecting others to tell good things about us?"
An, without a blink, "Yes!"
F, "Is it ok when somebody doesn't like what we do?"
An, "It's okay I'll like it anyway."
F, "Okay. You can also tell them politely , "I like the way I have painted.""
F2, "So what did we learn from this?"
An, "To be kind to others and ourselves."
And the facilitator added, "Saying good things to ourselves and what we choose to do is not for other people's approval."
Scenario 2
Facilitators role played 2 kids playing and talking about their interests. Another child who wanted to join them did not want to join them as he did not get invited, and how the child 3 feels sad.
Reflections
Another way is through role plays and this time, the facilitators at preschool decided to role play as children. They chose three scenarios to role play:
a) taking every communication with peers as an attack and being rude in response to attack,
b) self victimizing by saying they have no friends, and
c) wanting to look like the others and not satisfied with how they already look (especially the skin color).
Each scenario explains what the facilitators role played and what children reflected after each of the scenes.
Scenario 1
Friend 1 makes fun of friend 2's drawing that leads friend 2 to be upset and get into a mode of rejecting the other's friendship and her opinion by telling herself things that are not productive.
Reflections
An, "The house can be drawn however we want it to be."
Em, "We should not be rude at other's work."
An, "Friend 1 did not care about what the other child said."
An, "Yes, she cared only about herself."
Sh, "She was hurt!"
Aad "Friend 2 was upset and was telling herself that she wants to be on her own."
Anya " Yes, she kept telling bad things to herself like, I don't like other people and they are rude to me!"
At this point the facilitator asked them, "Did friend 2 telling herself bad things help her?"
All, "Nooo!!!"
Facilitator (F), "What could she tell herself instead?"
Various responses such as, "I like mine, but I don't know why she did not like mine...", "I like mine but maybe she likes the way she draws...", "We should like what others do...", etc., came out.
F, "Are we expecting others to tell good things about us?"
An, without a blink, "Yes!"
F, "Is it ok when somebody doesn't like what we do?"
An, "It's okay I'll like it anyway."
F, "Okay. You can also tell them politely , "I like the way I have painted.""
F2, "So what did we learn from this?"
An, "To be kind to others and ourselves."
And the facilitator added, "Saying good things to ourselves and what we choose to do is not for other people's approval."
Scenario 2
Facilitators role played 2 kids playing and talking about their interests. Another child who wanted to join them did not want to join them as he did not get invited, and how the child 3 feels sad.
Reflections
An, "We have to play with everyone and we can't leave others."
Av, "Do not play with only one best friend but others too."
F , "Why?"
An, "If we get used to only one friend and when that friend is not there we will have no one!"
, "What do you think child 3 should have done?"
Ang "The child 3 should have asked them can I join you"
Sh " Ask yourself what else can you do and do that"
Em, "Play with myself"
Scenario 3
Facilitators enacted a scene where they were comparing and complaining about their skin tone and not liking the way they look.
Reflections
F, "Why do you think we are telling ourselves this?"
Sh, "Because we don't like ourselves."
F, "Hmmm. Has anybody felt this way?"
A couple of hands went up.
F, "What did you do when you felt that way?"
There was no answer at this point.
After a couple of questions,
Ang "The child 3 should have asked them can I join you"
Sh " Ask yourself what else can you do and do that"
Em, "Play with myself"
Scenario 3
Facilitators enacted a scene where they were comparing and complaining about their skin tone and not liking the way they look.
Reflections
F, "Why do you think we are telling ourselves this?"
Sh, "Because we don't like ourselves."
F, "Hmmm. Has anybody felt this way?"
A couple of hands went up.
F, "What did you do when you felt that way?"
There was no answer at this point.
After a couple of questions,
An, "If you were dark you would want to be fair, you will always want to be like someone else!"
Ad, "It doesn't matter what color we are."
Aa added to spark some creative thinking and humour, "Only chameleons change color..."
Ash, "If we become someone else then we cannot get back our own color!"
Ad shared how he felt bad one morning when his peers made fun of his color.
Sh after some thought, "If we are different that's what makes us special!"
Meh, "Our parents love us no matter what!"
The last scenario's discussion will be taken forward in their own individual classes as most of the children seemed to relate and did not know what to answer. This will need more time and hence children wound up for the day after this, as it was the last hour for the day. It is important to address situations like this as they start off itself so that children are equipped to handle themselves, and others if needed. They become empowered citizens who can think for themselves, empathize and grow with growth mindset. And they learn to accept themselves for who they are instead of seeking constant approval from others.
Let's raise a generation of confident learners!
Contributed by Grace Veronica, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.
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