It was take home issue time for Cubs (4 to 5 year olds) today, just before they went home for the weekend. Children were all busy packing their take home files into their bags when Tanmayi was visibly upset. With teary eyes she said, "Nobody is being my friend." And started crying slightly.
"Who do you mean by everybody?"
Tanmayi, pointing at Ashley, continues to tear up.
"I am sure you can solve this. Why don't you go talk to her and ask her- Ashley, are you not my friend?"
She was prompted here as she was not in an emotional space to come up with questions. She seemed really upset. Usually she takes care of such situations herself.
Tanmayi walked over to Ashley and asked gently, "Ashley, are you my friend or not?", hoping for a yes.
When Tanmayi got no response from Ashley's side, she looked even more helpless, without realizing that Ashley might not have heard her voice as she was speaking very softly. Tanmayi kept standing next to Ashley, looking at me as if asking for help.
"Ashley, I think Tanmayi is trying to communicate something with you."
Upon hearing this, Ashley suddenly noticed Tanmayi standing in front of her, "Oh!"
"Ashley, are you my friend or not?", repeated Tanmayi with a calmer demeanor.
"Yes I am! But why did you twist my hand?", asked Ashley.
"Who do you mean by everybody?"
Tanmayi, pointing at Ashley, continues to tear up.
"I am sure you can solve this. Why don't you go talk to her and ask her- Ashley, are you not my friend?"
She was prompted here as she was not in an emotional space to come up with questions. She seemed really upset. Usually she takes care of such situations herself.
Tanmayi walked over to Ashley and asked gently, "Ashley, are you my friend or not?", hoping for a yes.
When Tanmayi got no response from Ashley's side, she looked even more helpless, without realizing that Ashley might not have heard her voice as she was speaking very softly. Tanmayi kept standing next to Ashley, looking at me as if asking for help.
"Ashley, I think Tanmayi is trying to communicate something with you."
Upon hearing this, Ashley suddenly noticed Tanmayi standing in front of her, "Oh!"
"Ashley, are you my friend or not?", repeated Tanmayi with a calmer demeanor.
"Yes I am! But why did you twist my hand?", asked Ashley.
Tanmayi and Ashley were playing a while before this and they got into a mini fight. That's when Ashley told Tanmayi that she will no longer be her friend, which triggered Tanmayi.
"Because I wanted to play Catch Catch with you!", clarified Tanmayi, sounding apologetic.
"Okay! Let's play something else!", replied Ashley.
Upon hearing this, Tanmayi had the most widest smile, and a completely calm demeanor. Her tears had disappeared completely! Ashley looked resolved too as she now understood why Tanmayi did what she did when they were playing.
What might look like a small situation to adults could create a major emotional situation for children who are going through it. Tanmayi wasn't able to move on and process other things around until this situation was resolved for her. And it wasn't resolved for Ashley either until they talked it through. Children can carry such emotions with them for a long time and it is absolutely necessary for them to learn conflict resolution. As adults who work with children, be it parents, teachers, and the like, it is imperative that they are shown conflict resolution methods. Though it could take some time initially for them to grasp the concept, nurturing these skills are a must from an early age.
Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.
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