T, a 3 year old, came to the facilitator every day for weeks requesting for help to open and close her water bottle.

T: "Open please"
F: "Why don't you try?"
T: "No, you."

After a few times facilitator helping her open her bottle, she finally opened it all by herself with a lot of her strength. Both the facilitator and T were overjoyed and elated by the act of her opening the bottle all by herself! 

F: "Oh amazing! WOW!!"
T: Smiling widely than ever, "Yeah!! Now close", and hands the bottle to the facilitator. 
F: "Why don't you try to put the bottle on the floor and try pressing on the cap with all your strength?"

T did as she was suggested to, and figured out that she can now open and close her water bottle all by herself! She looked like she had just achieved something great that she'd being trying to do for a long time, like there was a new-found confidence about her where she felt like she could achieve anything that she puts her mind to.

Just because she opened her bottle doesn't mean she understood that she could close it too. Children take multiple problem solving successes sometimes to learn that they are capable of solving their own problems and taking ownership at their level. Many a times as adults who work with children at home  or in schools, we treat the children as kids who need help in every little thing and do the work for them without demanding ownership or using it as an opportunity to teach problem solving. Building independence in each child is a key factor to their development as it is to ours.

Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.

It was around 9:30am in the morning and we only had daycare functioning that day. I had decided to drop by and say hi to the children. Only Ad, a 5 year old, had arrived by then. I went in to see him playing with a set of kitchen toys. He was really happy to see me and I decided to strike up a conversation.

He talked a little about how much he enjoyed the Annual day (which had just got over), how happy he was to see his Mommy in the audience and also about a step that he had forgotten in the dance. All of a sudden his eyes lit up as he said,

Ad: Ma'am, I'm so excited! My Papa is coming today.
Me: Oh wow! Is it? 
Ad: Yes, he'll come in the night when I'll be sleeping and I'm not coming to school tomorrow.
Me: So you are going to spend the day with your Papa?
Ad: Yes, he's my best best best friend at home! He plays catch-catch with me. We play so much!
Me: That's awesome, where had he been?
Ad: He went to the US, I used to think he doesn't love me and he went away.
Me: Really! What do you think now?
Ad: I think, he goes just for work. But I don't like it when he goes. I think he'll not go again. 

Those lines got me thinking about how children interpret their parents' absence in their lives, even for a short while. It all directly translates to  - they don't love me or I'm not good enough!

In our culture, we often don't see a need to involve children, especially this young, in our decisions, which often leaves them feeling left out or insecure. When we trust them to understand and also acknowledge their feelings, we can start to have a meaningful and respectful conversation with them about how they feel and what can be done about situations that are sometimes beyond our control. We can also talk to them about priorities and they learn to negotiate the real world, understand what matters to you and not just themselves and so on....in short, it helps them to learn and grow as individuals who in future have to navigate these decisions and emotions on their own.

It is extremely important to have conversations and set expectations with children regarding the changes they are going to deal with, this will equip them to cope with it with much ease, without disrupting their emotions. Even if they don't agree, it's still important to talk and discuss as it will help build the bond of trust between the parent and the child. Trust me, they eventually do understand! 

Coming back to Ad, the transformation in this child was amazing to see. The same child who would cry and be upset for days every time his dad left, was showing such a deep level of trust and understanding with his parents. As a school, modeling trust-based conversations and interactions with a child for parents is an important aspect of the relationship we develop with each parent and child. It has helped Ad transform and so have several other children and parents. Experiencing the bliss of close connect, trust and empathetic connect with your child is unparalleled and seeing your child grow with these values is icing on the cake for the parent!

Contributed by Yashika CG, Asst. Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz.

The 3 year olds class is having snacks, it's around 10.30am. The children have a place where they usually keep their water bottles to pick up during the day in the class. Ab is drinking water from his water bottle at the table and keeps it on the table itself. Av takes Ab's water bottle from the table, very graciously returns it to the window. Ab, confused by his bottle being moved tries to take it back, perhaps he was not done yet. Av just continues to move it further on the window where everyone's bottle was kept as if telling Ab, "this is where it should go". Unable to understand Av's intentions and thoroughly frustrated by now, Ab gets upset and starts crying. Maybe, Ab didn't like the intrusion into how and where he kept his water bottle and Av was more concerned about returning things to their rightful place.

F: Why don't you talk to Ab about what he is doing and that you are not liking it?

This didn't work. Ab did not stop crying and no amount of conversation seemed to be helping. Av struggled to see the impact of his behavior on Ab and Ab struggled to see the positive intention behind Av's action.

An who was sitting and watching all of this, seemed to have sensed and understood Ab's discomfort. She takes the water bottle from the window and gives it to Ab letting him have it back on the table.

She is not done yet; she runs to get a tissue and hands one over to Ab to console him too!

In this scenario, what An did was extraordinary where she showed an incredible amount of empathy to understand both the emotion and the intention. An took the initiative to solve the problem too and go over and above to show care. Ab was not communicating much yet, hence, An's efforts and thinking on the feet seemed even more exceptional.

Many a times, children seem to mimic a caring behavior from home. But thinking on your feet to solve a classmate's problem needs empathy in good measure.

When we as facilitators and responsible adults who work with children learn to observe these nuances, cultivate and nurture them is when we create an empathetic generation.


Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.

​It was a bright sunny day when our energetic 3 year olds (Calves class) decided to go for a pattern hunt around our Kannuru school campus. As children spotted different patterns on the school wall, ceiling, railings etc, some of the kids tried searching for patterns in plants, they bent down on the little saplings that were planted around the school to see if they could find any pattern on the leaves.

A child who was fascinated about the veins on the leaf exclaimed, “Ma’am look it’s a pattern!”, and accidentally pulled it off.

A moment of shock envelopes as all the kids gasped and the child who pulled the leaf looked at the facilitator helplessly.

All children huddled around the plant to see what really happened. Just then children started talking about what they think the plant is feeling now that a leaf has been ripped off.

​Sh: The plant is not feeling nice now
Ay: It’s crying and it’s hurt

​I (pointing out to a bruise on his nose): I think it’s painful, just like this 

Sa was trying to place the leaf back on the plant with the intention to fix it.
Just then, “I think we need some glue”, said Ar and ran in to get.

Children waited there patiently as he got one, they all sat together and applied glue on the leaf and tried fixing, but it wouldn’t stay, it kept slipping. They were not done yet.

“Maybe we should try a tape on it”, exclaimed Ay and ran to get it.
​
It took a couple of minutes for children to work together in fixing the leaf back on the plant with the tape. Finally they managed to fix it together.

​Facilitator – I wonder if this is really going to help the plan heal?
V: Yes ma’am it will, it’s like putting bandage when we get hurt

​Facilitator – Okay, then how long do you think it will take to heal?

Children started giving out different numbers like, “4 days”, “No 5”, “15 days ma’am”..........
Then we went back to check the plant the next morning, sadly they found that the broken part of the leaf was blown away by the wind, leaving the plant unfixed.

This led us to get back to class and learn with a sad heart but new learning, wonder and discussions about how plants heal themselves from injuries.

Since then every time we step out on the campus, children remind each other to be careful with the plants and not to touch them in a way that might harm them.

How wonderful would life be if we all learn to be kind to all living and non- living things around us, respect and believe that they have feelings too, learn to live and let live and be empathetic individuals.
Yes, that’s they path our children are travelling upon.

Contributed by Grace Veronica, Facilitator, Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool

As the day proceeded and the children in 3 year olds class were done with their free play. They pulled a chair each, made a circle and sat around for their circle time. The facilitator noticed that there was a slight issue that there was a yawning space one side and a jostling for space on another. Aa wanted to sit only next to K where both the adjacent seats were occupied. He was almost in tears, wanting to sit only next to only K. Some of the children spoke to him and told him how there's no space there, and to go sit next to Av as there's more space there but Aa refused. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to address the old issue of wanting to be friends only with one person: 

F: Aa, Why don't you go sit next to Av? There's a lot more space there. 
Aa: No ma'am (tears up)! I want to sit next to K.
F: How can we solve this? Because see, there's no space here to sit next to K.
*Aa looks and seems to be thinking*
F: You always sit next to K right? Why don't you try something different and sit next to Av where there is more space? 
*Aa stands and stares at K*
H: Yeah Aa. You should go sit there. We should be friends with everybody! 
F: Yeah! Sounds like a good idea. Aa is already friends  with K. Why don't you try and make new friends? Anyway, it's Aa's choice. I know he is smart and he will make smart choices. Let me know how you'd like to solve this problem.

A moment later, Aa lifted his chair, went and sat next to Av where there was a lot more space and the circle was complete. He was then appreciated for showing openness and agreeing to make new friends, and given a victory clap by everybody in the class! The facilitator and children then had a conversation on why it's important to make new friends:

F: Why do you think we should make new friends?
Some children went on to talk about some of the new friends that they have made outside, in their apartments and in their own class while some pondered.
An: Because if we don't then we will have only one friend. 
F: Yes, good point. So what happens if that one friend of yours doesn't come to school then?
An: We won't have any friends to play with. We will get bored!
H: I am friends with everybody!

Then the children moved on to speak about how they are friends with everybody and how they will try and be more friendly. After getting their agreement, it was put up on the 'Ground Rules' chart that 'We will make friends with everybody in class', that 'We are all friends'. This whole discussion ended with a group hug and the day moved on pretty seamlessly as they all sat around with each other throughout and made conversations with each other.

Ever since when Ad tries to sit next to K, the whole class reminds him to make new friends. There is shared ownership and camaraderie of a different level since the discussion. When we co-arrive at ground rules children seem to actively own the agreement rather than passively following someone else's instructions. It's amazing what a group of 3 year olds can do when they decide to work together and be friends.