Is parenting a skill or an identity? 

Most of the times parents get stuck in their ways of parenting seeing it as a fixed, unchanging identity. 

Where do our models of parenting come from? 
How do we look at parenting differently for each of our children (when we have more than one)?
Do solutions that worked for others work for me? There seems to be so much advice around. I'm confused. 
To or not to do rewards and punishments?
What happens when my child refuses, rebels, and back answers?
What happens when they make bad choices?

With a million more thoughts and feelings a few of our parents embarked on a very different kind of workshop this season - Parenting as a Skill.

Every generation of parents and caregivers takes on the work of loving and nurturing every generation to come and the most important contribution we can make to that generation is by becoming more self-aware, empathetic, growth-oriented, and pursuing deep and meaningful connections over immediate gratification of our authority. 

This weekend a few from our parent community came together with a common goal to embark on this journey willingly and joyously.
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#sparklingmindzglobalschool
#inspiringconfidentlearners
#parentingasaskill
​#creatingchange

SM's holistic approach to learning and life cannot be complete without our parents. But what is the role of parents at Sparkling Mindz? How do we continue to keep child in the centre, keeping the caregivers in mind? What are the expectations from our parents? 

Let's listen to our founder, Ms. Sreeja Iyer, give us a sneak peak into our culture. 

It's the month of August, the month that's special for every Indian. It was the month in which India achieved Independence from the British rule 73 years ago. As the rest of India celebrates this month by reminiscing the sacrifice of the various people who contributed to the Indian freedom movement, our pre-schoolers (5-6 year olds) at Sparkling Mindz began their discussion with a prompt "What do they love about India?" and the following were their responses along with how the discussion moved forward.

*Sh: I love that India is a big country and I love the national anthem.
Sh: Why do we sing the national anthem?
Ash: We sing national anthem to wish India*

This opened up an opportunity to discuss about the geography of India. The States, union territories and their capitals. How big India was before Independence and how big is it now and a little about the national anthem.
*Ana: I love that freedom fighters fought for our country*

This led us to discuss about who did the freedom fighters fight against and why? Why did the British East India company come to India? Who were the freedom fighters and how did they fight (Violence and Non violence)?

*Em: everywhere I travel in India, I love the buildings*
This led us to discuss about the famous monuments or heritage towns in India.

*Aad: I love India because it's colorful*
This opened up an opportunity to talk about the diversity in language, food, clothing, culture etc. And how inspite of our difference we love each other.
*Tan: I love India because it's beautiful*
*Abh: But, there are also people who litter in India*
This statement ignited a spark in the class and everybody seemed upset and concerned.
Facilitator: Why do you think people litter in India.
Abh: Because they are bad people.
Facilitator: It is? Sometimes in class we forget to follow ground rules, does that make us bad people?
Class: No, they just don't know the ground rules.
Facilitator: what do you think we should all do about this?
Tan: When somebody litters we can take it and throw in the dustbin.
Facilitator: Do you think they will learn if we pick up all the garbage for them? Is it possible for us to pick up all the garbage in India?
Ved: We need to clean our roads.
Abhi: We need to have more bins on the pathways.
Avy: We need to have poop bins for the dogs on the streets.
Adi: If you don't find garbage bin, keep it in a bag and throw it when you see a dust bin.
Post this discussion, children began reporting about littering incidents they come across on a daily basis while traveling from school to home and other places.
Noticing the concern and the spark in children to make a change, the facilitator gave them a choice to come up with ways to educate people on keeping India clean.
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Few suggestions they came up with were-
1. Role play
2. Making placards
3. Making videos
4. Writing letters

Considering all their suggestion the facilitator helped them thread through a mime which they performed to educate their parents on Independence day. They also went about and wrote letters to people they see littering the streets. 

​Contributed by Yashika CG, Facilitator, Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool

"OWH!" cried out Sid, and he looked at me.
I kept quiet to see how this situation would progress or get resolved. 

After a few seconds of silence and staring at each other, Sid asks Adit," Would you like it if I took this bat and hit you?" 

Adit had hit Sid with the table tennis racket while playing. It was purely accidental as Adit aimed for the bat and not Sid's hand. Adit, a 5 year old Joey and Sid, a 4 year old Cub, stay at SM post their school hours for daycare. Their current game/fascination is tennis that they play with plastic table tennis rackets. 

"No", said Adit, feeling bad, looking at Sid. 
"Then why did you do it?", asked Sid, hoping for more clarity. 
"I thought this was the bat", replied Adit. 
Sid thought for a second and continued, "Let's not play this game anymore." And he walked off with Adit into the daycare room, to play with something more gentle. 

Children are capable of standing up for themselves and making rational decisions. Every child knows what they like and dislike. And they deserve to be respected. When they are trusted that they can stand up for themselves and make the right decisions, and given the right vocabulary, they can do anything in this world. 


Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.

It was around 9:30am in the morning and we only had daycare functioning that day. I had decided to drop by and say hi to the children. Only Ad, a 5 year old, had arrived by then. I went in to see him playing with a set of kitchen toys. He was really happy to see me and I decided to strike up a conversation.

He talked a little about how much he enjoyed the Annual day (which had just got over), how happy he was to see his Mommy in the audience and also about a step that he had forgotten in the dance. All of a sudden his eyes lit up as he said,

Ad: Ma'am, I'm so excited! My Papa is coming today.
Me: Oh wow! Is it? 
Ad: Yes, he'll come in the night when I'll be sleeping and I'm not coming to school tomorrow.
Me: So you are going to spend the day with your Papa?
Ad: Yes, he's my best best best friend at home! He plays catch-catch with me. We play so much!
Me: That's awesome, where had he been?
Ad: He went to the US, I used to think he doesn't love me and he went away.
Me: Really! What do you think now?
Ad: I think, he goes just for work. But I don't like it when he goes. I think he'll not go again. 

Those lines got me thinking about how children interpret their parents' absence in their lives, even for a short while. It all directly translates to  - they don't love me or I'm not good enough!

In our culture, we often don't see a need to involve children, especially this young, in our decisions, which often leaves them feeling left out or insecure. When we trust them to understand and also acknowledge their feelings, we can start to have a meaningful and respectful conversation with them about how they feel and what can be done about situations that are sometimes beyond our control. We can also talk to them about priorities and they learn to negotiate the real world, understand what matters to you and not just themselves and so on....in short, it helps them to learn and grow as individuals who in future have to navigate these decisions and emotions on their own.

It is extremely important to have conversations and set expectations with children regarding the changes they are going to deal with, this will equip them to cope with it with much ease, without disrupting their emotions. Even if they don't agree, it's still important to talk and discuss as it will help build the bond of trust between the parent and the child. Trust me, they eventually do understand! 

Coming back to Ad, the transformation in this child was amazing to see. The same child who would cry and be upset for days every time his dad left, was showing such a deep level of trust and understanding with his parents. As a school, modeling trust-based conversations and interactions with a child for parents is an important aspect of the relationship we develop with each parent and child. It has helped Ad transform and so have several other children and parents. Experiencing the bliss of close connect, trust and empathetic connect with your child is unparalleled and seeing your child grow with these values is icing on the cake for the parent!

Contributed by Yashika CG, Asst. Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz.