​During a story reading session with 5 year olds, children were feeling hot and wanted to turn on the fan. Ar and Av get up from their chair and run towards the switchboard at the same time. Av reaches first and turns on the fan and as an instant reaction Ar hits him.
 
(Facilitator (F) observing the scene calls out for them)
 
Av: Ma'am Ar hit me, he always hits me.
F(to the class): Do you all think Ar gets angry and hits people for no reason?
Class: No ma'am. 
Ar (angrily): I get angry when people don't let me do what I want to do.
F: I understand you get angry but, is it helpful to hit or hurt someone when you are angry?
Ar: Yes 
F (to the class): Do you all think hitting when angry is a good thing?
Class: No ma'am. 
T: Ar should talk to them.
F: Thank you T, do we all want to help Ar calm down when he is angry? 
Class: Yes ma'am.
F (to Ar): How do you want everyone to help you calm down?
Ar: By not talking.
F (To the class): So, can we all agree to not talk to Ar when he is angry, he'll calm himself down and then join us.
Class: Yes ma'am.
F (to Av): Why do you think Ar hit you?
Av: Because I saw Ar run and I ran before him and turned on the fan.
F: What do you think you could have done instead?
Av: Let him (switch) on the fan, next time I will get a chance.
F (to Ar): What do you think you could have done?
Ar: Ask him.
F: So, do we all agree to use our words next time we don't like something?
Class: Yes ma'am.
 
Be it a child or an adult, helping them become aware of their own emotions and learning to express them in resourceful manner is a very important skill to learn for life. When children start this early, it helps them empathize with themselves and figure out mechanisms to understand, accept and cope with their emotions better, building emotionally resilient adults of the future. 

Contributed by Yashika Ganesh, Learning Facilitator, Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool and edited by Sreeja Iyer, CEO, Sparkling Mindz.
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​Empathy is, at its simplest, awareness of the feelings and emotions of other people. It is a key element of Emotional Intelligence, the link between self and others, because it is how we as individuals understand what others are experiencing as if we were feeling it ourselves. An example of empathy from a four year olds class. It was ship time with kitchen set. Each one started pretending to cook their favorite dish. Just then each child picked up a character.

Aliyah: I’m mamma
Veer (jumped in): Then I’m the papa
Amogh (volunteered): I can be the brother
Saanvi (did not pick a character, looked at Neel): Neel is the baby
Neel (disagreed vehemently): I’m not a baby
Amogh (explained patiently): But you’re so little, Neel
Neel (not really convinced): *quiet*
Saanvi (noticing Neel's reluctant face, empathized): Neel it’s just a pretend okay
Neel (now content, agreed): Okay
 
It is clearly visible how Saanvi put herself in Neel’s shoes, understood his emotional state and responded appropriately to it. it is only when we feel fully understood do we get convinced, else it takes a lot to accommodate everyone to truly collaborate and work together. When children learn such lessons early on in life, empathy becomes a skill they can practice and carry on with themselves for the rest of their lives. 

Contributed by Grace Veronica, Facilitator, Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool

It was around 9:30am in the morning and we only had daycare functioning that day. I had decided to drop by and say hi to the children. Only Ad, a 5 year old, had arrived by then. I went in to see him playing with a set of kitchen toys. He was really happy to see me and I decided to strike up a conversation.

He talked a little about how much he enjoyed the Annual day (which had just got over), how happy he was to see his Mommy in the audience and also about a step that he had forgotten in the dance. All of a sudden his eyes lit up as he said,

Ad: Ma'am, I'm so excited! My Papa is coming today.
Me: Oh wow! Is it? 
Ad: Yes, he'll come in the night when I'll be sleeping and I'm not coming to school tomorrow.
Me: So you are going to spend the day with your Papa?
Ad: Yes, he's my best best best friend at home! He plays catch-catch with me. We play so much!
Me: That's awesome, where had he been?
Ad: He went to the US, I used to think he doesn't love me and he went away.
Me: Really! What do you think now?
Ad: I think, he goes just for work. But I don't like it when he goes. I think he'll not go again. 

Those lines got me thinking about how children interpret their parents' absence in their lives, even for a short while. It all directly translates to  - they don't love me or I'm not good enough!

In our culture, we often don't see a need to involve children, especially this young, in our decisions, which often leaves them feeling left out or insecure. When we trust them to understand and also acknowledge their feelings, we can start to have a meaningful and respectful conversation with them about how they feel and what can be done about situations that are sometimes beyond our control. We can also talk to them about priorities and they learn to negotiate the real world, understand what matters to you and not just themselves and so on....in short, it helps them to learn and grow as individuals who in future have to navigate these decisions and emotions on their own.

It is extremely important to have conversations and set expectations with children regarding the changes they are going to deal with, this will equip them to cope with it with much ease, without disrupting their emotions. Even if they don't agree, it's still important to talk and discuss as it will help build the bond of trust between the parent and the child. Trust me, they eventually do understand! 

Coming back to Ad, the transformation in this child was amazing to see. The same child who would cry and be upset for days every time his dad left, was showing such a deep level of trust and understanding with his parents. As a school, modeling trust-based conversations and interactions with a child for parents is an important aspect of the relationship we develop with each parent and child. It has helped Ad transform and so have several other children and parents. Experiencing the bliss of close connect, trust and empathetic connect with your child is unparalleled and seeing your child grow with these values is icing on the cake for the parent!

Contributed by Yashika CG, Asst. Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz.

The 3 year olds class is having snacks, it's around 10.30am. The children have a place where they usually keep their water bottles to pick up during the day in the class. Ab is drinking water from his water bottle at the table and keeps it on the table itself. Av takes Ab's water bottle from the table, very graciously returns it to the window. Ab, confused by his bottle being moved tries to take it back, perhaps he was not done yet. Av just continues to move it further on the window where everyone's bottle was kept as if telling Ab, "this is where it should go". Unable to understand Av's intentions and thoroughly frustrated by now, Ab gets upset and starts crying. Maybe, Ab didn't like the intrusion into how and where he kept his water bottle and Av was more concerned about returning things to their rightful place.

F: Why don't you talk to Ab about what he is doing and that you are not liking it?

This didn't work. Ab did not stop crying and no amount of conversation seemed to be helping. Av struggled to see the impact of his behavior on Ab and Ab struggled to see the positive intention behind Av's action.

An who was sitting and watching all of this, seemed to have sensed and understood Ab's discomfort. She takes the water bottle from the window and gives it to Ab letting him have it back on the table.

She is not done yet; she runs to get a tissue and hands one over to Ab to console him too!

In this scenario, what An did was extraordinary where she showed an incredible amount of empathy to understand both the emotion and the intention. An took the initiative to solve the problem too and go over and above to show care. Ab was not communicating much yet, hence, An's efforts and thinking on the feet seemed even more exceptional.

Many a times, children seem to mimic a caring behavior from home. But thinking on your feet to solve a classmate's problem needs empathy in good measure.

When we as facilitators and responsible adults who work with children learn to observe these nuances, cultivate and nurture them is when we create an empathetic generation.


Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.

Our 3 year olds were exploring emotions and they began to connect emotions to nature. Is Sun happy or sad to play with clouds? Do clouds cover the Sun in anger? What about rainbow - is that a happy sign? Are moon and sun friends? The wonder never ceases in their world, nor do their connections....a sample conversation is shared below.

Ab (smiling at the facilitator): The sun is happy ma'am.
F: Why is the sun happy?
T: Because the sun is behind a tree and it is happy.
An: No it is sad. Because the clouds come in front of him. They are all angry clouds.
F: Why are they angry?
H: Because they are dark. Rain is coming.
An: Yeah, the sun is angry because there are so many clouds in front of the sun and it is hiding.
<Everybody goes into a pensive mood>
F: Ok. Looks like we have interesting things to think and wonder about. How about we all go upstairs and wonder at the sun and other things that are up there? We can even wonder which emotion the sun and the clouds are having. Would you like that?
S, T, An, Aa, Ab, H: Yes ma'am. 
F: Ok. Let's put a sticky note here and write it down. This week let's find some time and go upstairs to look!

Emotions of the sun, sky, clouds:
The children were taken upstairs to watch the sky and wonder about the various emotions they might be feeling.
Aa: I can see the sky
K: I see the sun ma'am
Ab: Ma'am , I can see the clouds
F: Very nice! How do you think the sun is feeling?
Collectively: Happy
Av: Because he is out today and he is not sick
<Collectively spot clouds>
F: How do you think the clouds are feeling today?
H & K: Happy, good.
H (changing her mind in an instant): I don't know.
F: Where is the moon then?
H: No, it's too far we cannot see it.
Av: No, the moon and the stars will come only in the night
F: Why?
Av: Because I saw a book like that in the office yesterday
They all came around, sat in a circle to watch the sky.
H: I see sky and sun
S: Sun is sick ma'am
F: Why?
An (consoling S as he is getting upset): No see, the sun is feeling so happy. He is on us.
Av (adding some love and care): Because see he won't get sick today.

As children explore emotions through nature and make connections they generally tend to project how they feel, learn to express it, work with each other's emotions, respond to it and even present other perspectives for the same situation - building emotional range and flexibility. 

Children represented in visual form the feelings they felt during the sky watch. It is generally very illustrative to watch them represent their feelings through colours and motion. 

The emotions came pouring onto paper through strokes and colours and left indelible marks on their minds. We continue this discussion on emotions on another day, with another set of natural elements...wondering what they will pour next, connect next?



Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.

We believe that when children connect, learn and grow with the nature around them the experience and the learning outcomes they get are very, very different.  It also stays with them forever. In order to attain this we take children for a lot of visits that help them connect to nature better.

 One such visit was to the park nearby and Anika, Aliyah, Zohar and Het were in one such group that went to explore the park. As we started from our school we came across a tree which had a hole in it. Upon seeing it Zohar said, “Ma’am caterpillar lives in it” and to this Anika added her perspective she said, “I can see many ants in it they have made a big hole and they are living in it”. Aliyah said, “The spiders also make their home like this and they make sure that no one comes in”. (Children are beginning to relate to the need of basic shelter and what purpose it serves in the lives of different living things.)

 Then as we started moving further we saw another tree which was bent and upon seeing that Anika said, “The rain came and splashed a lot of water on the tree that has made the tree to bend”. She also connected the bend with the mountain and said that it also looked like a mountain. (Explaining and understanding causality for natural phenomena is the beginning of scientific inquiry in a child and visualizing and connecting the shape to things not present in the immediate surroundings displays the child’s ability to make creative connections)

 Zohar touched the tree with his little finger and said it is too rough. (Beautifully connecting his learning back in class to the real life and using the right kind of vocabulary to describe it)

 As we moved forward they started to speak about the rain. Hearing the conversation the facilitator asked the children, “Where does the rain come from?” to which Anika said, “It comes from the plants.” The other children were observing the trees around them. Zohar who saw a coconut tree near a house said, “Coconuts”. On hearing this Aliyah connected her previous trip and said “Yes, when I came with Priya Ma’am we saw a coconut which was on the road it had an oval hole in it.” (It is amazing what children remember and take away in trips and the amount of detail they tend to process when they are totally involved in a learning journey.)

 We continued to walk and as the children walked they made sure they did not stamp on the leaves when asked why they were walking carefully, Aliyah said “They will get hurt if we stamp them”.

 As we continued our journey we saw a tree which was cut down and the leaves had turned brown, seeing that a conversation erupted between three of them.

Anika: Someone has cut it down
Aliyah: Yes, Anika that is why the leaves have turned brown and they are sad
Het: “No, no they are crying”.

 Connecting to and learning through nature helps children to look at learning in different and more meaningful ways. It also enables them to apply their learning practically and develop deeper empathy for their surroundings.

 Finally, as we reached the park. Anika saw big stones which looked like pumpkin on the ground and said, “I can see pumpkins on the ground.”  Then we came across a big white tree Zohar said, “Ma’am the branches are also white in colour” the children were asked why this tree alone looks white and Anika responded saying, “Someone took a big scissor and they have cut the brown part away”. While returning to our school Zohar saw a lot of leaves which were fallen down and said, “Oh, no Ma’am look there someone shook the tree and all the flowers have fallen down”. It was a sad moment for all of them when they realized that loss and change are such an integral part of Mother Nature.

 Children tend to look at the nature around them and extend metaphors from their lives and how they feel onto nature. Every trip we make is an experience for us and children to look at the world with a new pair of eyes and see what others might have missed and to feel what only we can feel for who we are!


Contributed by Sujitha M, Learning & Innovation Engineer at Sparkling Mindz