One of the biggest crises of our times is the inability to see another's perspective, see the other as human, in fact. So, in our endeavor to teach empathy to children we used a modified ‘Step Inside’ thinking routine. We have also created a 'step out' tool such that it helps people step out of the others' shoes and use the perspective gained to creatively resolve emotionally charged situations. Inspired to implement this? Here's how...
1. Gather Facts
1. If you are an involved party then share things from your perspective as well as what the other person said, did etc. clearly (without distortion)
2. If you are a teacher/parent, then ask questions to gather as many facts as you can for you to get a clear picture of the involved parties and the situation
3. If you are an involved party or not, express how you are feeling and acknowledge your emotional state. This is to ensure this does not carry into your next step.
4. Also clearly state any beliefs or values you have about the issue/situation/behaviour you are dealing with so that it is easier for you and others to acknowledge this and ensure it does not affect your next step.
1. Gather Facts
1. If you are an involved party then share things from your perspective as well as what the other person said, did etc. clearly (without distortion)
2. If you are a teacher/parent, then ask questions to gather as many facts as you can for you to get a clear picture of the involved parties and the situation
3. If you are an involved party or not, express how you are feeling and acknowledge your emotional state. This is to ensure this does not carry into your next step.
4. Also clearly state any beliefs or values you have about the issue/situation/behaviour you are dealing with so that it is easier for you and others to acknowledge this and ensure it does not affect your next step.
2. Step In
Step In Routine Involves the following.
I'm the other now (assume that is X). So, I'm X (I step into the situation as X and answer the following prompts):
I see:
I feel:
I care about:
--------------
You can ensure you are not projecting at this stage by asking yourself, "Would X say that about themselves?"
Step In Routine Involves the following.
I'm the other now (assume that is X). So, I'm X (I step into the situation as X and answer the following prompts):
I see:
I feel:
I care about:
--------------
You can ensure you are not projecting at this stage by asking yourself, "Would X say that about themselves?"
3. Step out
You physically step into a different space and do this part of the routine.
Knowing what I know because of my Step In what can I do differently?
Was the "I see" objective and wide in perspective? If not, how might we see/show objectivity and a wider perspective?
Was the "I feel" resourceful? If not, how might we bring/show awareness and help shift state to something more resourceful?
Was the "I care about" expressed resourcefully? If not, how might we encourage a more resourceful way to express the care about?
You physically step into a different space and do this part of the routine.
Knowing what I know because of my Step In what can I do differently?
Was the "I see" objective and wide in perspective? If not, how might we see/show objectivity and a wider perspective?
Was the "I feel" resourceful? If not, how might we bring/show awareness and help shift state to something more resourceful?
Was the "I care about" expressed resourcefully? If not, how might we encourage a more resourceful way to express the care about?
4. Iterate
At this stage, you check if the solutions you had found are working or not . If yes, you have just now resolved something with empathy and creativity. Time to celebrate!
If not, you iterate back to the leverages in the "step out" stage and see if you have exhausted all your options. If not, use them. If you have, then you iterate through the "step in" stage. Maybe you missed something there. A different see, feel or care about that given this new information of what didn't work can reveal itself and you find yourself with multiple solutions again to work with.
No two situations, the underlying intentions or the resolutions are the same. The only thing that really works is remaining creative, resourceful and empathetic.
At this stage, you check if the solutions you had found are working or not . If yes, you have just now resolved something with empathy and creativity. Time to celebrate!
If not, you iterate back to the leverages in the "step out" stage and see if you have exhausted all your options. If not, use them. If you have, then you iterate through the "step in" stage. Maybe you missed something there. A different see, feel or care about that given this new information of what didn't work can reveal itself and you find yourself with multiple solutions again to work with.
No two situations, the underlying intentions or the resolutions are the same. The only thing that really works is remaining creative, resourceful and empathetic.
"Empathy is perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give our children in today's world and perhaps, our greatest hope for a better future for humanity." -Sreeja Iyer
Contributed by Sreeja Iyer, Founder & CEO of Sparkling Mindz Global School & Preschool.
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