Is parenting a skill or an identity? 

Most of the times parents get stuck in their ways of parenting seeing it as a fixed, unchanging identity. 

Where do our models of parenting come from? 
How do we look at parenting differently for each of our children (when we have more than one)?
Do solutions that worked for others work for me? There seems to be so much advice around. I'm confused. 
To or not to do rewards and punishments?
What happens when my child refuses, rebels, and back answers?
What happens when they make bad choices?

With a million more thoughts and feelings a few of our parents embarked on a very different kind of workshop this season - Parenting as a Skill.

Every generation of parents and caregivers takes on the work of loving and nurturing every generation to come and the most important contribution we can make to that generation is by becoming more self-aware, empathetic, growth-oriented, and pursuing deep and meaningful connections over immediate gratification of our authority. 

This weekend a few from our parent community came together with a common goal to embark on this journey willingly and joyously.
​

#sparklingmindzglobalschool
#inspiringconfidentlearners
#parentingasaskill
​#creatingchange

#noviruscanstopus
#sparklingmindzglobalschool
#annualdaycelebrations
#ohtheplacesyoullgo
#drseussinspired
#reggioemiliainspiredlearning
#playbasedlearning
#funplacesforchildren

The Covid-19 took the whole world by surprise. Before we knew it, the entire world went into lockdown. The regular life came to a pause. It started to show up in everybody's lives differently. When we look back at it a few years, decades and centuries from now, what will people see or talk about?

​As the children in the school embarked on a newsletter project on - No Virus Can Stop Us, they asked Sreeja Ma'am to write a column about it. She chose to write a poem in her role as a mother of all children in the system and it's an exploration of the mother and child together of the situation that they suddenly find themselves in as well as a promise of hope to the ones who can't see the light.

 Let's read on.
​

The machines came to a grinding halt
The morning rush no longer the default
People scared, holed up in no virus can stop us listening to me homes
A sight one heard of only in tomes

Did the virus win? What happened next?
Mummy, please don't stop just yet
How did everyone live like that?
In fear of a virus from a bat!

Did everyone put down their arms?
What about workers and the farms?
Did everyone stop everything?
From factories to market gathering?

No one went out to play?
Or on a holiday?
No one strolled in the park?
What a sad story with no spark!

Sonny boy! Not all that meets the eye
Is the truth or what we should buy
Let's Look further and beyond
To see how humans respond

There were doctors and nurses
Who without a care for themselves
Served every needy sick and patient
Despite lack of equipment

Tough decisions they had to make
Who to save and who to forsake
It broke their hearts and soul
Yet, they focused on the goal

To prevent loss of life and reduce pain
They tried hard, sometimes in vain
What made them not give up
Mummy, of what are they made up?

Pain and adversity have their way
They go deep within to find a way
Through the hurt and the pain
To build out the power within

Some families drew closer together
A few others broke altogether
Industries, workers had to heed
Very harsh realities indeed

Less fortunate were losing homes, 
Migrating by foot, hurt by stones
Hungry for food, blisters on feet
Breathing their last on the street

Briefly, students cheered
No exams that they feared
Soon boredom and despair loomed
Everything seemed to be doomed

Through these times, a few discovered they could
Work from home
Work on their own
Do house chores 
Cook
Dream
Sing
Dance
Tell stories
Play
Connect
Be generous
Serve
Discover themselves
Generally, do with less

Mummy, do tell me more
Did they forget how they lived before?
My dear boy, people didn't forget
But people didn't regret

They ventured forth to create - 
New ways of being
New songs for dreaming
New dances for creating
New books for seeing
New forms of working
New norms of serving
New connections for making
The world a better place
And each of our lives worth living.

It's your turn to reflect on how you are taking this pandemic, and how you are choosing to spend your time. Let us know in the comments. 


Contributed by Sreeja Iyer, CEO & Co- Founder, Sparkling Mindz Global School and Preschool.

#sparklingmindzglobalpreschool
#sparklingmindzglobalschool
#youngachieversacademy
#covid-19
#deepthinking
#inspiringconfidentlearners
#21stcenturylearning
#reggioinspiredschool

What are PFCs, you may ask.  Perhaps if I say PTA (Parent- Teacher Association meetings), it might click? 

Here at SM, our PTAs are called PFCs (Parent - Facilitator Connect). At SM, adults who interact with children are called facilitators. We believe that we facilitate learning in children and not 'teach' them, all this while going deeper in our own learning too; as we believe children are individuals who are capable of achieving just about anything in the world that they put their minds to. 

As it is the time of the year to wind up the current academic session, the third term, we have our third and final PFC just around the corner. All of us are busy with the preparations, digging through our notes after notes, reflections, e-mails we had sent... and that could have possibly looked like a lot of work or such a chore. But this is imperative so as to not miss even the tiniest of information about the growth of our children as we can. At one point, we realized we were lost in the nitty-gritty and needed some BIG INSPIRATION to keep chugging along. So we got together as a team and reflected on the prompt 'What does PFC mean to us?' It was an attempt to find our beliefs about PFCs and create the necessary inspiration and momentum. We each shared our beliefs and here is what we arrived at,

1. PFCs are for community building. We at SM strongly believe we are a community and not just a school with teachers, students and parents. When we say community, it means to us that we are all in this together, for the holistic development of the child. So when we come together for PFCs, we get to see where each child is at with regards to how they are at home, parents get to see how children are at school on a regular basis as we openly discuss about the achievements, milestones, patterns of the children and what parents can do to help the child move forward. Both parents and we are on the same side of the boat, working together as one entity, for the child, enabling trust on each other from both the parties.
2. PFCs are for bridging the gap. Connecting to the previous point, both the parties get to see a complete perspective of the child and not just one aspect of how the child is just in school. 
3. PFCs are for showing the parents how we see children (capable, curious, empathetic, creative, and so on). Sharing the developing and ever-evolving image of the child through stories of their growth, reinforcing our belief that children are so much more than just marks.
4. PFCs are also a  moment to reflect how we have grown as facilitators and they as parents.

Our discovered shared mission and purpose inspired us to power through the PFC documenting work with renewed energy and vigour. Like piecing together a jigsaw puzzle we had put together all of our varied thoughts on PFCs and built our very own PFC quilt to motivate us to work towards the higher purpose of working on the PFC documentations.

We, as a team, not only came out of the feeling stuck moment, we also know that if we do get stuck in the future, we can always refer back to our purpose and get going and know that we are not alone in this journey; we have this whole community cheering on with us!

#sparklingmindzglobalpreschool
#teamspiritstories
​#discoveringthepurpose

Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.

T is visibly upset, screaming and crying, sitting on her pink mat, "I want H to sit next to me not Ash!!!!!!!"

Now both the classes, Cubs (4 - 5 y/o) and Joeys (5 - 6 y/o) were staring at the scene, wondering what was happening. 

T was then reminded to use her words and that we couldn't help her if we didn't understand why she was so upset. After a few seconds, when nothing seemed to help her calm down, the facilitator (F) stepped in, "Can T please come with me? Let's go to our calming corner."

This was done so that her emotions could be addressed with her calmly and to help her calm herself. 

T and the F then came to their class (Cubs' class) for further discussion,

F: What happened? 
T, still crying, at this point her words are not clear, murmurs something. 
F: You know I can't understand what you are trying to tell me. 
T, calms down and starts to talk after a few seconds: I wanted Ash to sit here (pointing to her left) and H there (pointing to her right). I didn't want Ash to sit here (pointing to her right). 
F: So what can you do about it?
T (now angry): I told her so many times. She didn't listen!
F: Okay, I hear you. 
T: NOOOOOOOO!!! (screaming and crying slightly) She made me upset. 
F: You're saying that she made you feel upset and cry? 
T: Yes.
F: What can T do about this now?
T, now calm: I can take a deep breath and go sit somewhere where there is space. I can make new friends also. I was upset because she made me. 
F: Hmm, so you are saying that somebody else has the power to upset you and make you cry?
T agrees. 
F: So you have given the power to make you feel angry or any other emotions, to people outside of you?
T: Yes. Only others can make me feel bad and happy. 
F: Interesting. So that's what you're choosing to tell yourself ?
T, now pondering, but also agreeing. 
F: Okay. Let's think about it this way, what does this power of yours look like? 
T: Like a mossy rock!
F: Awesome! And?
T: Yellow, bright like that sun (points at the ceiling, to show the sun in the sky). Oh, I don't need that sun, I can make a sun for myself!
F: WOW! And where is this power?
T points into the middle of her chest.
F: In your chest? Wow. So when you give your power away to others, when others have the power to upset you or make you happy, where does this bright mossy sun go? 
T, thinking. No response. 
F continues, "Next time you feel like others have upset you, can you look for that power within you and see where it is?"
T: Yes.
F: And if you that power is missing, what can you do?
T: Put it back in my chest! And I'll be powerful and bright like the sun! (does a little dance)
F: Awesome! Would you like to think about this and come back after a bit, so we can talk more about it?
T: Mm-hmm. 

And off she went hopping and skipping with the power of mossy sun within her! Who knows what hidden powers we carry when we don't stop to introspect or too easily hand over all our power to others to hurt, to anger us. What if, we chose to take back that power and work with it instead? What would your power look like? Have you wondered?

And off she went back to the class, happy as ever. Holding space for children to express their emotions give them the understanding that it's okay to feel what they are feeling without feeling judged. In this space, they feel safe to be themselves, and to be open to express and explore different parts of them.  

Now when T starts to get triggered, she can simply be reminded of the sun to shift it back to within herself and she's good to go. And that's all it takes, to emerge out as an empowered person, to realize and remember that we have the power within us to do whatever it is that we want to, that it is nobody but us who are responsible for our own lives. ​


#sparklingmindzglobalschool
#sparklingmindzglobalpreschool
#socialemotionallearning
#youngachieversacademy
#inspiringconfidentlearners
#everychildcan
#21stcenturylearning
​#powerwithinme

Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool

We are all storytellers. We are constantly creating and recreating stories that we then go on to tell ourselves and believe as true. Stories we tell ourselves start to define who we are.

I once told myself a story of being a victim when it came to love and friendship. Saying that to myself was comforting. It helped me blame others, fate even and define who I was in that light. It made sense, if you have been victimized, to withdraw, to withhold and to be invulnerable. To be there for people but not present yourself fully.

What's wrong with it you may ask? We have all been victims at some point and if you are a victim what other story can you tell yourself?

Well...there lies the problem. If your story is that of a victim you have a need for sympathy, to be taken care of, to be protected and you will attract people like that in your life.

If, on the other hand, you are a survivor, you have lived through harshness and survived, you have learnt lessons, you don't have a hole or a gap, you don't need sympathy, you don't need protection.

You need humaneness and you know what it looks like, you know what it takes to stand up for your rights, you know what it feels like to live life on your own terms, what it means to love yourself to be able to give and receive fully.

Stories define who we are. Choose empowering ones constantly.

Written by Sreeja Iyer, CEO and Co-founder of Sparkling Mindz Global School.

#sparklingmindzglobalschool
#inspiringconfidentlearners
#youngachieversacademy
#ichoosetogrow
#everychildcan

It was around 9:30am in the morning and we only had daycare functioning that day. I had decided to drop by and say hi to the children. Only Ad, a 5 year old, had arrived by then. I went in to see him playing with a set of kitchen toys. He was really happy to see me and I decided to strike up a conversation.

He talked a little about how much he enjoyed the Annual day (which had just got over), how happy he was to see his Mommy in the audience and also about a step that he had forgotten in the dance. All of a sudden his eyes lit up as he said,

Ad: Ma'am, I'm so excited! My Papa is coming today.
Me: Oh wow! Is it? 
Ad: Yes, he'll come in the night when I'll be sleeping and I'm not coming to school tomorrow.
Me: So you are going to spend the day with your Papa?
Ad: Yes, he's my best best best friend at home! He plays catch-catch with me. We play so much!
Me: That's awesome, where had he been?
Ad: He went to the US, I used to think he doesn't love me and he went away.
Me: Really! What do you think now?
Ad: I think, he goes just for work. But I don't like it when he goes. I think he'll not go again. 

Those lines got me thinking about how children interpret their parents' absence in their lives, even for a short while. It all directly translates to  - they don't love me or I'm not good enough!

In our culture, we often don't see a need to involve children, especially this young, in our decisions, which often leaves them feeling left out or insecure. When we trust them to understand and also acknowledge their feelings, we can start to have a meaningful and respectful conversation with them about how they feel and what can be done about situations that are sometimes beyond our control. We can also talk to them about priorities and they learn to negotiate the real world, understand what matters to you and not just themselves and so on....in short, it helps them to learn and grow as individuals who in future have to navigate these decisions and emotions on their own.

It is extremely important to have conversations and set expectations with children regarding the changes they are going to deal with, this will equip them to cope with it with much ease, without disrupting their emotions. Even if they don't agree, it's still important to talk and discuss as it will help build the bond of trust between the parent and the child. Trust me, they eventually do understand! 

Coming back to Ad, the transformation in this child was amazing to see. The same child who would cry and be upset for days every time his dad left, was showing such a deep level of trust and understanding with his parents. As a school, modeling trust-based conversations and interactions with a child for parents is an important aspect of the relationship we develop with each parent and child. It has helped Ad transform and so have several other children and parents. Experiencing the bliss of close connect, trust and empathetic connect with your child is unparalleled and seeing your child grow with these values is icing on the cake for the parent!

Contributed by Yashika CG, Asst. Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz.