Today when the same scenario happened, S got to P first. Ak also ran to her, causing a tiff. Now S and Ak were at it, wanting to open the bottle. Eventually S opened it and Ak was visibly upset. I called him to ask what had happened,
F (Facilitator): What happened?
Ak, with teary eyes: S opened the bottle. But ma'am, yesterday S opened Ad's bottle also.
F: Okay, but yesterday you also opened P's bottle all by yourself too.
Ak: But ma'am, he opened so many bottles.
F:How do you feel when you saw him opening bottles?
Ak: Sad.
F: Why?
Ak: Because he opened Ad's bottle and so many bottles.
I figured he was upset because he considers himself quite strong but he was failing to see that his strength could be used anywhere he wanted to and not just opening the bottle. After acknowledging what he felt was okay to be felt when he did not get a turn, we continued our conversation.
F: Hmm, Ak, you know you are super strong right?
Ak: Yes.
F: And that helps you open bottles for others. Right?
Ak: Yes ma'am. (Slightly smiling)
F: Are bottles the only things that you can do with your strength?
Ak seems to be thinking.
F: What else can you do with your super strength?
Ak: Climb ladder, draw...
His options went on and on, and so did his mind. The more options he came up with, the more calm and content he seemed.
F: Ah, see you can do so many things with your hands and strength. So next time you get upset about not being to open somebody's bottle, what can you do?
Ak: Find something else.
F: Awesome!
We finished out conversation with a hi five and off he went to sip water.
When children feel stuck one way, building the skill of creative decision making could help them shift their emotional states into productive states that can help them bring in the flexibility to handle situations differently, just like how Ak started seeing how he could use his strength in multiple other areas too himself, and not just use it in opening bottles. Flexibility is a muscle that can be built overtime which can enable decision making in creative ways, also helping one to see multiple pathways when one feels stuck.
Contributed by Sruthy Krishna, Learning Facilitator at Sparkling Mindz Global Preschool.
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